“It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
– J.K Rowling
“But compsci lands you high paying jobs!”
“Are you out of your mind?”
“Why would someone leave such a high standard degree?”
Advices poured on me like hail hitting the earth during winter. I must be either very stubborn about my dreams or I might be living in the dark undergrounds. Wait, you didn’t think that was true, right? As much as I’d love to live in Hobbit homes, I do understand where the sun chooses to kiss the earth. In simple words- I’m not stupid.
Never knew that a simple choice by a random 18 year old could upset a bunch of people. “Why?” they asked.
“But you’re so smart! You would pass with flying colours.”
It was never about my abilities. It’s a CHOICE. It’s like writing a novel. The literary skills fill pages but our choices carry the plot. The choices are the writers, not the fancy words inserted to impress instead of honest expression. Choices are the artists that build our life; the sculptors. Hence, I CHOSE.
As I finished my first year of compsci with mixed feelings of relief and dread (one year down, but 3 more to survive), I found myself lost on the path. I couldn’t see any forks or turns ahead. Just a mist of doom wrapping the mountains that lay in the way. If I had to get across ranges of uncertainty anyway, at least I’d be better off without the dark gloomy mist.
I fought my eyes to find an alternate route in the obscure lands ahead. However, the mist lingered, blinding me to any options the course had to offer. That’s when I thought about it. Instead of knowingly stepping into the valleys of doom, I should trace back my steps to see where my compass failed. It’s significant to understand when to pause and reflect. What’s even more important is accepting something might be wrong and try to fix it.
Back in time I travelled for a year, and sure as it was, I found a fork in the path. I stood facing the untrodden way, wondering if that was the right one. My hands immediately rummaged the pockets for the compass; I found it and almost looked but-
“Arghhh,” I yelled, turning sharply, eyes wide in terror. The compass rolled away out of sight. Something had grabbed my hand. Something cold. It sent cold shivers down my spine. Yeah, IT. Something neither human nor animal had my hand grasped in its bony hands. The creature looked devious and foul. And then as I looked into its eyes, I recognized it.
FEAR. We meet again. Though we meet often, every time it catches me off guard, disguised in forms indefinite. And every time, like remembering a person from the last lifetime, I fail to recognize its shadow following me.
However, this time it wasn’t going to fool me around. I was not some desperate girlfriend trying to please FEAR anymore. So, I dumped it. Broke up right in its face and stepped onto the unknown lane.
That’s when I heard a whisper, “We’ll figure it out.” I smiled quietly to myself. Choices don’t shout, they whisper.
And so, I start my journey along the course of Digital Marketing. Just as uncertain and unknown as the unseen underwaters. Nevertheless, a journey accompanied by courage and choices. A choice that makes me the main character of my novel, not a random background idiot working uselessly to advance the plot set in broken systems. In a world where everyone wants stability, I am crazy enough to choose the unstable.
Yes, I lost a year walking the wrong way. But not all who wander are lost. The time I think I lost taught me to not bow to clocks or cages. To craft my legacy through burning pages. That’s experience. Story of my life.
Though I always wanted to carve my own path, leaving behind all those the world offered me I realized something. I had to have a shield as I walk into the battlefield, no matter how strong the weapons I possess. A degree was a shield in the battlefield of societal beliefs. And it wouldn’t matter how strong the shield was if I wasn’t going to wear that during the battle. A simple, not so fancy shield would work as long as I got to wear it. In short, Digital Marketing is the simple armor while the fancy Compsci armor would have laid unused.
Now, this also applies to every huge and tiny decisions. Choose to waste your time deciding between tea and coffee or tick those two tasks off your reminder list? Choose to wake up and hit that to-do list or snooze it ‘just one more time’? Choose to show up and practise or lay in bed miserable with a mild little cold. Our choice.
Every waking moment we have to make a choice, and so make sure its YOURS. Sure, it may go wrong sometimes. Sometimes you might choose to put the milk to heat and go for a walk thinking it’ll be alright as you come back in two minutes. Only to find out that you’ll have to spend the evening cleaning the mess. Nevertheless, we learn. We learn from our choices.
Befriend your fear, take courage by the hand and own your choices. I don’t know if that works, but I’m about to find about.
Abilities reflect our potential, but choices reflect our purpose. CHOOSE BETTER.
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